We bought our house in the fall of 2014 and needed to furnish it! We had a few things from our apartment but needed to make our house a home. We shopped and shopped for a bedroom set that we loved. We were convinced it didn’t exist! We finally found a beautiful bed! It would fill our big bedroom beautifully! We ordered it and then… we waited! I swear I was pregnant almost as long as this bed was on backorder! Ha! It’s funny now but to a nesting preggo mama it was a source of stress!
Our bed✅ – finally it was delivered and set up! What a beauty! I kept checking things off of my list! I tried not to get too caught up in the consumerism of a new baby (I’ll blog about that soon too!) but I knew I -needed- a crib. (Lolololol that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever thought/typed/said!) I spent a looooong time reading about safe crib sleeping. I read mattress reviews. My parents bought the baby the pretty crib we had chosen. My husband got it all assembled. The sheets were washed and put on the carefully chosen mattress. No bumpers, no pillows, etc! We had to be safe! (We later added a mesh bumper- which is also hilarious! Because spoiler alert, Everette has never slept in his crib!)
The baby’s room was perfect! We didn’t know we’d have a beautiful little boy so we kept the room neutral – gray/white. We would add blue/pink details after birth. (So cliche, whaaaatever!)
In addition to the perfect crib we also bought a metal and mesh cosleeper basket to put in our king size bed. It was awesome! We loved having it when we had to make an unplanned trip to visit my husband’s granny in hospice. It folded up and fit perfectly in our bag for the flight. Click here to see the one we used!
I’d read a lot about the importance of keeping your baby close to you to prevent SIDS and to help our breastfeeding relationship. I read hundreds of conflicting articles that said cosleeping/bedsharing were the worst things you could do and the best. Obviously my baby would sleep in his/her crib and just lay in the cosleeper sometimes. 😂😂😂
⬆️⬆️⬆️THAT was the #1 misconception I had as a parent-to-be. I thought it would be so easy to lay my new baby down and walk away while they slept. NOPE – not for me! Not for him either! We spent the last 9 months together as one. As soon as he was born we had uninterrupted skin-to-skin for hours! I was the only thing familiar to him in this new outside world. (Fast forward 16 months and we’ve still never spent any time or slept apart!) I couldn’t (wouldn’t!) just lay him down, let him cry, and walk away. He slept in my arms for the first few days which was perfect because he also nursed (what seemed to be) nonstop at first too. -thankful for clusterfeeding and nursing on demand! No supply issues here!- Anyways, at first he slept in his cosleeper. He slept in it really well for the first few months and then 💥BAM💥 the 4 month sleep regression hit. He was a big 4 month old boy and he did NOT want to sleep in his cosleeper anymore! He kept hitting his hands, feet, and head on the mesh.
Okay, it was time for our perfectly cute little crib to shine! You’re up crib! Juuuust kidding. I’d get him asleep and then lay him down… and then he’d realize he wasn’t close to me anymore and wake up! And cry! And cry! And cry! Nope. Not okay! I’d hold and nurse him back to sleep and then rock him in our chair or lay with him in our bed.
Here’s a pic of the one time daddy got baby to nap in his crib! So cute!
…That’s when the beautiful bed had to go! Daddy disassembled it, stored it in the guest room. and then we had a “beautiful” mattress/boxspring combo on the floor in our room. We moved out the nightstands and the bookcase and anchored the dresser. Both closet doors are kept securely closed as are the bedroom and our bathroom doors.
When Everette was little and learning to roll/crawl I was nervous to keep him in our bed. I started laying him in his crib for naps so he’d get used to it. Nope. He still wasn’t having it! But if I laid him in our bed he’d sleep comfortably! I’d nurse/lay with him until he fell asleep and then sit on the floor and watch him (and Netflix!) while he napped. Hey! Progress! He would nap on his own but not in his crib. Whatever works, right? I put a barrier of pillows around the sides of the bed, but I was always right there to see him. When we started bedsharing, I slept on my side with him at breast level (with one boob out😂). I had my arm above his head and tucked around him. We both slept like dreams. I was keenly aware of his breathing and his movements. He slept solid and sound throughout the night occasionally turning his head to quench his thirst😂 I slept with one blanket on the bed and kept it off of him completely and then just eventually on his feet and legs. Eventually he wanted to get off the bed by himself after waking. I was always awake too. He’d try to crawl off at first (hello heart attack!) but then we taught him “feet first.” He’s a pro at getting off of the bed now!
Cosleeping (sharing a room) is recommended by the AAP for the first year. Bedsharing can definitely be beneficial when done safely. People who smoke should NOT bedshare. People who take sleeping medication or who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol should NOT bedshare. You shouldn’t use heavy or multiple blankets while bedsharing – and I’m sure the list goes on. I definitely accredit bedsharing and “breastsleeping” to our successful breastfeeding relationship. I accredit bedsharing for our restfulness – I’d be an absolute mombie if I was up all night to nurse and soothe my baby back to sleep.
Oh no! I’ve created a monster! That’s what a lot of people may think or say. Sometimes it’s rough to lay down when he does but then I remember – he’s only little for a little while. One day he’ll be a stinky teenager who doesn’t want mama to wave to him let alone cuddle him up.
I’m sure it’s not the best choice for everyone but cosleeping and bedsharing have been a God send to me! What worked for you and your baby? What was your biggest misconception about parenting? Please leave a comment!